Men don’t need fixing says Domestic Violence expert

Male victims of domestic abuse are not often spoken for or spoken about according an Australian Psychologist and Author who says: “men don’t need fixing”.

Dr Elizabeth Celi has published what she hopes will be a groundbreaking book that sets out to debunk myths, provide practical guidance and create a much needed resource for men who are experiencing domestic abuse and those who wish to help them.

Dr Elizabeth Celi is a pioneering men’s health advocate who can be seen in action talking about her previous book – “Regular Joe v Mr Invincible” – if you click on this YouTube link now.

Dr Celi, who has been described as “the 21st century antidote to Germaine Greer” says:

“If you are a man who has suffered domestic abuse, you may feel confused about what to do and whose fault it all is. You know you’re not safe but you don’t know how the situation got so out of control. If you have kids, there’s an even bigger risk than leaving an abusive or violent situation – leaving your children behind in it. At times you may even feel like you’ve failed at being a man.

“You’re not alone. And although it’s not an easy cycle to break, it is possible. With the right guidance, practical tips and the right team in your corner, you can rebuild your sense of self, your relationships and your life.

“‘Breaking the Silence: A Practical Guide for Male Victims of Domestic Abuse’ is a book for men in abusive situations as well as those who are trying to help – from friends and relatives, through to professionals.”

The first part of the book gives context to the issue of domestic abuse against men by female perpetrators to help the reader to  understand what’s happening and some of the reasons why.

The second part moves onto practical steps you can take to break the silence and break the cycle of abuse and violence. It is a valuable tool for both men and women.

Topics covered include:

  • 5 things to avoid when verbally defending yourself
  • How to understand her anger
  • Tips for saving your relationship or managing a divorce with minimal stress
  • Tips for keeping the kids safe
  • How to deal with the stigma attached to male experiences of abuse
  • Empowering men – how to be your own man without apology

According to her website Dr. Celi has taken a prominent role in educating the public, organizations and politicians on the productive dynamics and pitfalls of masculine psychology in modern society.

She is a firm believer that “men don’t need ‘fixing’” but need to be allowed to be themselves and she claims that this something that “the feminist movement didn’t factor in”. She says:

“Feminism has achieved some great things for women and men. It made society re-evaluate how women were treated and re-integrated them into our social fabric more than they were before.

“Feminism was a social movement that, for that era, needed to happen. It’s been time for a long time now to turn our focus to men and give men’s lives and men’s selves the same kind of attention and care.

“It doesn’t help men or women if men simply conform to a way they think they should behave. Whether this is fitting into traditional male stereo-types (strong, independent, provider, tough, capable) or idealised male stereo-types (supportive, caring, strong, understanding, capable).

“What we need to do is re-evaluate how we relate to one another. We need to develop new and relevant rules for communicating.”

To find out more about Dr Celi’s work click here to visit her website now.

About

Glen Poole is UK co-ordinator for International Men's Day, Director at the consultancy Helping Men and news editor of insideMAN magazine. Follow him on twitter @HelpingMen or find out more about his work at www.helpingmen.co.uk.

Posted in World News On Men's Issues

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